蓝叶•记录

很累，瘦了一圈。想要一个长长，长长的旅行。想去一个陌生的国度或城市。想坐下来，安静地坐下来。

每天都怀揣着美好的愿望忙着工作，并说服自己安心工作。也许只有这样，才能让自己轻松一点，开心一点。虽然心已累，心已累，却有着无法抛下的重任，只是重任也即包袱。

我开始逐渐转移自己现在的工作，试着踏入一个新的高度。这一年，我很认真，也很努力，希望找到我人生要走的路。

2011.7.20

很早以前，电视我只爱看卡通动漫；很久以后，电视我只关注新闻。

很早以前，我信誓旦旦绝不高四；很久以后，我在黎明的教室里奋发读书。

很早以前，我告诉自己要做一名文艺者；很久以后，我在课堂上听比较优势，稀缺和供需。

很早以前，我以为自己只为追求自由；很久以后，太多的自由让我空虚。

很早以前，我不认识你；很久以后，我们相识又分离。

很早以前，后院有一片青草春天开红花；很久以后，后院被水泥浇平。

很早以前，我是单眼皮；很久以后，长成双眼皮。

很早以前，我不知道A, B, C, D...很久以后，我向他们请教生活的真谛。

很早以前，我不喜欢读史记；很久以后，我读所有与历史有关的书籍。

很早以前，我梦想周游世界；很久以后，我在地图上旅行。

很早以前，我以为很多事物即如此；很久以后，记忆已经斑驳不清。

Eva: Barry, what was your dream when you were young?

Barry: Oh, it's really a question, let me think about it. I was looking forward to be a hip-pop player with a guitar in hand when I was about 15 years old, but later after I graduated from the senior school, all I wanted was just a good job to survive while acturally the dream that to be a hip-pop player was still deeply in my heart, and then after hard learning in work, I became an engineer and was employeed by a company, designing and repairing for different machines. and 5 years later I got married and then had 2 childrens. Later the econimic crisis came and my company was brought by another company and I was elevated to be the company manager because of my design ability which was professionable at that time.  And later the crisis wais extended and  the directors asked me to reduce the labour and I said, ok. And later the company was brought by another company and again I was told to reduce my labour and I said ok. and later the company was again brought by another company and repeately someone asked me to reduce the labour and I said ok with a list handed in with my name on that. At that year I got divorced, my son was 11 years old while my daughter was 9, they lived with their mother and I felt that I must do something for myself after so long years, and my partner who was good at marketing said ok, I will do it with you. Then I began to do the business with my partner, only 2 people then. We suffered a lot and I am 65 years old now and I have 3 factorys, I don't have as many worker as D does, but I will quite rich now if I was in China. I still keep working from 7:00 am and later to 9:00 pm sometimes and for 7 days a week. I am sometimes tired but I feel happy deeply in my heart. I always fly through different countries and seldom go for travelling. But I like it. Many people think I need to retire at my age but I like working and I am going to work about  5 or 10 more years. This is my life and now let me talk about yours. Note that when you have ambitions, do not stop and just go for it. Always feel positive in life and you will find that things you are looking forward all the time have finally become true.

Eva: I presume that life is that you never know what and where you will be tomorrow.

Barry: Oh yes Eva. It is.

And then comes David and I ask him do you think so?

And he said: Oh, remember that tomorrow you need to eat.

叶子

2011.03.10

无法理解

人为什么会做一些很可笑很奇怪的行为呢？

难道是因为习惯于撒谎？习惯于泰然自若？还是习惯于始终为自己寻找一个台阶？

我一直以为，你即使有再多的地方不被他人认同，甚至被看不起，至少你是善良的，你会发自内心去为RC考虑。因为我一直以为，在你的内心深处始终保持的那份单纯是无法被别人理解的。所有与你有关，不被接受的事情都是你无心的单纯的表现。

一枝一叶一世界，今天认识的你，心中无限失望！无法理解，你内心深处的那份可笑的自负，到底是一种怎样的悲哀！

叶子

2011.02.21